Category: Sin

A Tribute to Tamar

Yesterday I read the following tweet from Mark Driscoll:

driscoll tweet

And when I read it, I let out a huge sigh.

Because of all the people Driscoll could’ve chosen from the genealogy of Jesus to make his point, he just had to pick Tamar.

As a woman, I get tired of people—especially influential men—picking on Tamar.


On Being Controlling

im not bossy2

I really like the TV show, “Parenthood.”

Sometimes it’s hard to get my husband to watch it with me, because it hits a little too close to home. Many of the scenes displaying what it’s like to raise a young boy with Asperger’s could have been filmed in our house.* But it’s not just that. It’s also that one of the couples is a lot like my husband and me.

A recent episode addressed the wife’s control issues. It was painful to watch.

Hi, I’m Stephanie. And I am a control freak.

Being controlling is one of those socially acceptable addictions that doesn’t get called out as often as it should. But make no mistake: Being controlling damages the addict and everyone around them as well.


Why This White Girl Believes ‘Color-Blindness’ is Just Another Form of Racism

I’m enjoying my first guest-blogging experience, over at my friend Brian Virtue’s blog! I wrote a post called, “Why This White Girl Believes ‘Color-Blindness’ is Just Another Form of Racism.” I’d love for you to click here and join the conversation around this topic.

And while you’re at it, check out the rest of Brian’s blog! He writes about leadership formation, family systems, power dynamics, cross-cultural ministry, and lots of other stuff that always challenges me. Plus, he has a great, slightly-sardonic wit. So come on over!

Efficiency Or Relationship? (Lessons From The Borg*, Part 2)


A few weeks ago I posted about a time when an employee of mine experienced difficulty arriving on time for staff meetings. In my post I shared how—in hindsight—I created the perfect solution to the problem.

Or so I thought.

Several years ago I shared my story with a group of young leaders and asked them to simulate solutions to the problem. We had a great discussion. Then I shared my solution with them, expecting responses that proclaimed the brilliance of my (belated) idea.

But one of the young leaders said, “I don’t like your solution. You’re assuming the value of being on time to meetings is an absolute value. But in most cultures around the world, being on time to meetings isn’t a value at all. In most cultures relationships are much more highly valued than timeliness. You were just asking her to conform to your personal value.”


What Is Grace? (Lessons Learned From The Borg*, Part 1)


Many years ago my husband and I led a team of ten campus ministers at a particular university. We met together twice a week: once for prayer, and another for planning, problem-solving, evaluating, etc.

As can happen, a few of our team members (admittedly, myself included) had trouble arriving on time for our meetings. Desiring to instill a sense of professionalism—not to mention respect for others’ time—in our team members, we decided to enact a tardy policy: For every minute you were late to a meeting, you were required to contribute a quarter to “the pot.” At the end of the semester we would use the money to subsidize a team dinner to a nice restaurant. In essence, if you were perpetually late you would be buying dinner for everyone.

The policy really seemed to work…for most of us. But one team member in particular continued to struggle to arrive on time. While most of us occasionally threw a coin or two into the pot, she regularly laid down dollar bills in multiple denominations.